Marriage is more than just a promise to be with someone.

Photo: SuperSizeMe

It is the moment-to-moment re-commitment to do what is best for both of you even if you don’t like what needs to be done because you love the other person and are willing to work to have the best relationship possible.

Why is it that we care so much about what others think about us? Why is it that even if we don’t respect someone else that our feelings are still hurt when they don’t like us?  Why is it that we can’t focus only on those in our lives that like us for who we are instead of wasting our emotions and energy on people that don’t really matter?

Photo: Gay Mayer

I so want everyone to love me!

Heck, I would love it if most people even simply liked me.  Alas, that is not how the world works.

I have strong opinions and emotions that keep me from being able to simply blend in with those around me.  I don’t mean to be different or not completely accepting of people as I try my best to accept people for who they are.  The problem seems to be that I may be able to accept others for who they are but not agree with  or understand their choices.  And, as I, evidently,  wear my feelings on my sleeve no matter how hard I try not to (and I have been trying ALL my life!), people think that I don’t like them instead of it being the fact that I don’t understand or simply disagree with their choices or views on life.  If I simply don’t know the person yet, my insecurities seem to cause them to think negatively of me.

No matter what the reason for someone not liking me, it still hurts.  It doesn’t matter how old I get, inside I am that insecure teenager who longs to fit in and be liked. I wish that I could figure out how to make a better impression upon people so that they would take the time to get to know the real me!

As I strive to be more accepting and open to others, I hope that my imperfections don’t overshadow what I have to share in a friendship.  I thank God every day for the wonderful people that He has brought into my life who love me and accept me for who I am.  It is for those people that I strive to be an even better friend for they are some of the biggest blessings in my life!

Do you ever feel lost in your own head?

That is how I feel.

It doesn’t matter which way I turn, I seem to run into a dead end.

I can’t seem to find my way home.

A map wouldn’t help me navigate as you must first know where you are in in order to plot your coarse with such a tool.

Sure wish they made a GPS for your mind!

Photo: Giampaolo Macorig

As the day unfolds before us, we have but two choices:

Rejoice in the blessings that we have received or wallow in self-pity.

I choose the former.  Life is too precious to be wasted on the “should-av’s” in life.

WHY is it that we spend so much time worrying about other people???

WHY are we so concerned the choices that others make that have nothing to do with us?

WHY should we be upset about how they are acting, what they are doing with their time, or how they are spending their money?

WHY can’t we just accept others for who they are and support each other as best we can?

If I don’t make the decision to enjoy what God has given me but instead complain about what I am lacking, I am foolish.

If I deplete my energy being a busybody, how has that served me or my family?

As every moment on Earth is a wonderful blessing from God, I am going to try my best to focus on my blessings and be supportive to those around me.

I have found myself musing about who I am and who I really want to be a great deal during my life.  Lately, I have been on an quest of sorts to find out who I really want to be.  There are so many aspects of my personality that it is hard to be clear about who exactly I am.  The major roles that I fulfill are wife, lover, mother, friend, homemaker, and homeschool educator.   But, these roles are only a portion of who I am.  What about my emotional and intellectual needs and interests?  Who is it that I really am?  But, better yet, who is it that I really want to be?  I have begun asking myself some questions to help me develop into the best person that I can be.

When do I feel the happiest?  When do I feel the most content?  When do I feel the most fulfilled?  When do I feel the best about myself?  How can I change from the person that I am to the best person that I can be?  I can’t address every facet of my life at once – yet it is a journey of growth and self-discovery.  Therefore, I have to determine which portions of my life can be rather easily adjusted to obtain the largest impact on my happiness and which tasks will take more work and are longer term goals.

I can’t become the person that I really want to be without effort on my part.  Sitting here contemplating the changes that I need to implement is only the beginning.  Now, I must continue along my path with diligence and faith.  Faith that I can be whatever or whoever I set my mind to be.

I hope that you are the person you desire to be.  If you aren’t, only you can make the decision to make small changes in your life to help you come closer to that person.  I would love to walk beside you in your journey to be the best you as I hope you will join me on my path to a better me!

Thoughts swirl through my head as if they were being whisked about by a brisk breeze.  The words tumble over themselves and bounce around.  The snippets dance gracefully  to the interesting rhythm that is intriguing yet difficult to follow.  The meanings are incomprehensible but calming as if simply listening to the music of my mind is the purpose of the ramblings. The melody peaceful with light tones lifting me to a place of serenity.  Grace… love… peace…

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.”
-Robert Brault

Photo: Tamara

We tend to take things for granted and overlook the small blessings in our lives.  When we take pleasure in the little things, we live a more graceful life.  We have a more joyous heart.  We tend to live a richer life – full of the beauty that is encapsulated in everything around us. As I contemplate the multitude of blessings in my life, these are some of my favorite little things that really are the big things in life:

• Hugs and kisses from my two little boys. It is amazing just how quickly they grow up!  My youngest is still a kissy, huggy snuggler, but my oldest son has grown up into a “big boy” and isn’t much of a snuggler anymore.  Although I am very blessed that my older son still gives hugs and kisses, just not constantly like he did two short years ago.

• My boys taking turns sitting on my lap while I read them books. I know that all too soon, neither of them will want to sit on their mommy’s lap.  I relish each moment that I have now!

• Reading books to and with my sons. I absolutely LOVE books!  To be able to share the joy and knowledge that one can gain from a book with my little ones is such a privilege!  I love the fact that I get to share in the adventures they embark on when they enter the world of books.  Another cool thing is that my oldest son can sound out and read rather large words, but still prefers me to read aloud to him.  I treasure this time of him wanting me to be part of his intimate world!

• Observing my sons helping each other. Watching them interact in a kind and generous manner without external interference is heartwarming.  I cling to these moments to help me deal with the much more often bickering that occurs.

• Holding hands with DH. So much intimacy is communicated between us when we hold hands.  The reassurance that we are sticking together through the good and the bad with God’s help and guidance and hearts full of love and devotion to one another.

• Spending time with extended family. We take those that we love for granted as they have always been a part of our lives and we expect them to always be there.  Spending time with my grandparents and other extended family last weekend refilled me.  Simply being in their presence brings me reassurance that all is right with the world.  Spending time with our parents is a gift that we don’t take as lightly anymore as they live over 1,600 miles away.  When we do have the opportunity to spend time with them, we cherish it greatly.  It is amazing just how much you miss being able to hug your parents!

• Chatting with my best friend. I am very blessed to be able to talk to my best friend almost daily on the telephone for extended periods of time (thank you, unlimited long distance!!).  We are able to talk about all aspects of our lives and find support in each other for the struggles we are facing.  Even when we don’t have any “news” to discuss or issue that needs debate, just hearing her voice brings a smile to my face and joy to my heart.

• Praying as a family. We say grace before meals.  We all say a bedtime prayer together as part of our nightly bedtime routine for the boys.  The feeling that I get listening to them recite the prayers is indescribable.  It feels as if the Holy Spirit is filling me up to over-flowing.
  

• Watching the children get excited about something. I wish that I could capture their joy and amazement when they discover something new or are enthralled with something!  But I have found that I enjoy life more fully when I am experiencing it first hand, instead of through a lens (which is what I used to do).  There are many times that I wish I had my camera in hand in order to capture those moments to be relived many times over, but alas, it just isn’t the case much anymore.

• Falling asleep next to DH. The warmth and security of DH laying beside me at night isn’t so much physical as emotional.  Knowing that he will always be by my side is comforting.  When we are apart, I have a hard time falling asleep.

• Hearing “I love you.” Sometimes we hear this phrase so often that it seems trite, but isn’t that what life is really all about – loving and being loved? I know that I am touched every time that someone tells me that they love me – even if it is off-handed.  Just because the phrase can be said by anyone doesn’t mean that they don’t care about us.  And, well, I enjoy being loved!  It makes me feel, well, loved!
  

I am going to make a more concerted effort to enjoy the little things and bask in their pleasure!

What are the little things in your life?

Please check out Amy’s Finer Things Friday for more little/big things.

What is your definition of happiness?

When you have more than enough money to fulfill your needs?
When your soul mate smiles at you?
When your child tells you that he loves you?
When an friend calls to just to say “hi?”
When your pet cuddles with you?
When you are traveling?
When you curled up with a good book?
When you receive a hand-written letter in the mail?
When the traffic was light on the way to work?
When you nailed the presentation?

There are so many aspects of life which we can base our happiness upon. Yet, it is a choice as to what we allow to affect our moods. We all have things go wrong during our day:

We just can’t get up when the alarm buzzes the first time putting us behind for the ENTIRE DAY…
Traffic was horrid making us irritable…
The boss picks the other guy for the special project…
The kids make a mess and are fussing about everything…
Our spouse had a bad day and all household tasks are left for us to handle…
The cat threw up on the carpet AGAIN…

The list goes on and on. But are these really reasons not to be happy? Yes, they put a damper on that moment, but happiness is a state of mind. One which we have control over. We can choose to let these things bring us down for the rest of the day OR we can focus on the blessings of the situation or other blessings in our life.

Many – okay, most – of my days are rout with minor irritants that dampen my mood:

The kids don’t want to get dressed…
Now, they want to get dressed, but refuse to actually put the cloths on their bodies or let me do so…
The boys are arguing over a toy…
The house is a mess…
The ability to put DH’s dirty cloths in the hamper has eluded him – although our 2 year old and 4 year old do so without prompting…
The cat has thrown up on the carpet AGAIN…
It is five o’clock and I still haven’t even considered what to make for supper…
DH is irritable after a long day of work and traffic…
Did I mention that the cat has thrown up yet again???

But, these things are only minor nuisances. They might cause me a bit of additional work and definitely help me to develop more patience and tolerance, but they aren’t life-threatening although our attitudes can be. So, when something annoys me, I try my best – which quite often is not good enough – to remain calm and focus the blessings:

The kids are learning to assert their independence…
The boys are learning the art of negotiation…
We are blessed with an abundance of earthly things…
The boys love being Mommy’s helper and taking care of Daddy’s cloths for him…
Our purring cats…
McD’s is on DH way home from work (LOL!)…
DH comes home to be with us most every night and enjoys his work…

Happiness is a conglomeration of all of the little blessings in life that we choose to focus on.  As I continue on my journey, I work on my patience and understanding. I try not to become angered by the little ones’ blatant disobedience (most often failing). I try not to impose my expectations on others (DH) unduly. And, each night I pray that God will grant me the patience and skills to be the best mom and wife I can be. It is a blessing to know that I don’t have to be perfect!  With God’s help and my determination to try to choose to be happy as much as I can by recalling my blessings and the small joys that bring me so much pleasure instead of fixating on the nuisances, I am beginning to be a much happier person!  Please remind me of that it is up to me to remember my blessing the next time I start focusing on the negative, okay?